Sunday, November 16, 2008

Twilight

My friend said I should read this book, so I did. It is written by Stephenie Meyer and it's about vampires. It is glib. And purile. And a waste of time.

This is not a good book, and it should be thrown out. All the main people in the book and the one that follows are very special and sparkley. There is no character, just flatness. The apple on the front probably represents sex. The only true part is about smelling blood.

Bella and Edward Cullen fall in love. Yes, of course they do. Its pretty icky, and not real at all. She's soft and a bit dense up there. He's a vampire who drinks animal blood as a matter of principle. There are good vampires and bad ones and truly exceptionally horrible ones. But the writing is completely unsurprising.
The boy vampire falls in love because he can't read her mind but he can smell her blood, and it is delicious. Everything about her is delicious, and wonderful, and bloody perfect.
She is beautiful. There is danger. Everyone is flat and dull and acts stupid.

This series is incredibly irritating. I don't understand why the others like it so much. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I just don't get it. Bad writing.

I gave both books back. Everyone says the fourth book is bad, but I shan't even read the third one.
I can't believe they made this series into a movie!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very good review. Twilight is bad. I tried to read it but had to put it down and laugh too often.

You should also call it smarmy and saccharine. Just an all round lousy series.

DEATH BY NOODLES said...

Makes it sound like bad toffee.