Sunday, January 25, 2009

Gung hay to all of you!

Cheng yuet (正月) happens this year on January 26. So happy New Year!!!!!!!!
If you walk up Pacific Street that evening, you will hear firecrackers. We will be scaring away the evil spirits to assure prosperity this year.
We always do that; fireworks scare away the ghost-devils.

When I was little I told my mom it wasn't working!!!!!!!!!, because ALL of the caucasians were still there!!!!!!!!
She told me that NORMAL ghost-devils scare away easily, but WHITE ghost-devils are tougher and stupid or maybe deafer (which is why they don't seem to understand anything when you talk to them).

I have since grasped that this is not entirely true.

But, sometimes I wish it was. Then I could pretend that I didn't understand them either.

Specially when they ask idiot questions like "you're Chinese, what does that sign say?"
Like I would know? I read Chinese? Mister, I am from here and I speak English. But go ahead, take a wild guess - it's on a Wells Fargo Bank, under the English name Wells Fargo Bank. That location could be very significant..... Wells Fargo Bank. Do you suppose it might, possibly, conceivably, say "Wells Fargo Bank"? Hm?
It's by all means not a remote or even unlikely possibility, no?


Anyhow, we're cleaning the house and getting our hair cut, so that we won't sweep away good luck or cut away sustenants at the beginning of the year. You should do the same, and buy lots of oranges and tangerines, which are also good luck. Also flowering plum, and something with fresh green leaves.
I hope you get lots of red envelopes this year.
San Neen Fai Low! Man See Yu Yee!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi there, little firecracker. You can't scare me away, I'm built of sterner stuff.

Happy new year.


---Grant Pervert

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me. That was some other foreign ghost pervert.

Truly.


---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me. That was some other foreign ghost pervert.

Truly.


---Grant Patel

The back of the hill said...

Grant, don't your different personalities co-operate with each other?

The back of the hill said...

Snooky, happy new year. Gung hay fa tsoy, san tai kien hong, man si yu yi.

Anonymous said...

And lots of raisin buns.


---Prurient Amphilishtel