I tried on dresses today downtown. Nothing looks good at all, I've got to loose weight. Or gian height. I need longer legs. Like at least two inches longer. Then everything would look right except for the umms. Which still won't look like a blonde woman.
But at least it doesn't look like all topheavy!!!!!!!!!
High heels are out of the question and hurt like dickens.
And the only people who can walk in them are willowy men on Polk Street or the equatorial strumpets on Larkin.
And burly truckdrivers wearing their wives lingerie, who should really REALLY shave their chests before leaving the house!
I think I'll just wear sackcloth, thank you very much.
One day you will choke on noodles and your entire life will flash before your eyes. How marvelous to have such wonderful memories while EATING NOODLES!!!!
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About Me
- DEATH BY NOODLES
- I live in San Francisco, ergo I am White, Chinese, and Latina - culturally speaking, that is. I'm the youngest child, and the only girl. Now, tell me about yourself. Are you a pervert? Is that why you are here? Me and my very sharp cleaver can cure you.
9 comments:
Oooh, high heels! Excite me why don't you!
---Griebus Pantiwaisted
"And the only people who can walk in them are willowy men on Polk Street or the equatorial strumpets on Larkin."
Equatorial strumpets? Oh, you mean the Philippino and Latin American transgenders down below California Street! Fascinating bunch - willowy and possessed of 'umms' that would make a blonde woman jealous, but some of the deepest most disturbingly masculine voices you will ever hear.
One of them once told me that it takes a man to be a woman. Then he/she sneered at the crossdresser at the other table. Apparently transgenders feel better than queens. Who knew?
Exactly. About the Philippinas, that is.
Philippino trannies? My good heavens I love this town!
---Grant Patel
Such delicate gazelle-like figures, such deep and coarse voices yelling Tagalog obscenititities! So very very zesty!
Mashiyadong geshmack and to da max, yet!
---Grant Igotexperiencesitellyou
You certainly have a broad spectrum of perversions, mister Patel. I guess that is to make up for a lack of depth.
Yes, but at least I don't wear dresses.
---Grant Patel
Or fishnets around my meaty thighs.
---Grant Patel
Thank you SO much for that horrific image.
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