Friday, April 24, 2009

The only stuff left is garbage

Why is it that after easter the only choclate that goes on sale is the horrid tasting kind! Why can't they just make so much of the really good stuff that we can gorp for WEEKS afterwards????????

I had to spend tooooooo much money to get a decent chocky fix this week. Darn well I'm keeping it all for myself. Adults do not NEEED chocolate, teenage girls do.

It is axiomatic that anything shaped like a bunny wabbit, that is NOT a bunny wabbit, should be shot with a gun or hit with a hammer. Because it tastes like crap.

Real bunny wabbits, on the other hand, should be lovingly fed carrots and corn. Big heads of lettuce till they grown big and fat. Then stewed in rice wine and garlic and ginger.

As revenge for messing with the world supply of chocolate! That's evil!


GRANT!PATEL! said...

I have a three-pound gift box with your name on it.

---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

"Real bunny wabbits, on the other hand, should be lovingly fed carrots and corn. Big heads of lettuce till they grown big and fat. Then stewed in rice wine and garlic and ginger."

Them's fightin' words, sister.


Rajeev said...

Grrrr. Them's fightin' words, sister.I am in fullest of agreements. They should under no circumstance EVER be stwed in rice wine, garlic, and ginger. That is just quite barbaric!

Instead, brownded in piyaaj, with sarson ka beej, and tejpatta. After marination in yogurt. Not too much lal mirch, but add a driblet of sirka to tenderize the oleaginous beastie. And gentle braise. It is very delicious thus.
Rice wine, garlic, and ginger, double feh I say! That is just too white!

Dhol-arnab is also very exquisite. Precisely if made with adrak and a zesty tarka added on top. We are liking a sharp kachumber with.

Anonymous said...

I believe in love rabbits, not meat rabbits.

No more rabbit recipes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gautama said...

Rabbits naturally are full of love - that is why there are so very many of them.

Food heavens, how many rabbits there are!

concupisciently amphibious said...

All the more bunny wabbits for the stewpot.

skeptically amphibious said...

I doubt whether Mr. Patel has a three pound box; it is widely known that he is several bricks shy of a load, as well as being, reputedly, a very crude man.

The back of the hill said...

Snooky, may I suggest that you think of rabbits as being off limits? Much as I would naturally agree with you, there are some people who consider bunny-eating a form of cannibalism, or something those degenerates in Berkeley might do, in between saving the whales and protesting the Israelis.

Instead, perhaps, raccoon, possum, or armadillo. Not even Texans hug their armadilloes.


Ew-yuck, only white people eat those things!

folklorically amphibious said...

Don't bunny wabbits lay eggs around Easter or something?

The back of the hill said...

Food heavens, how many rabbits there are! Food heavens? Gautama, was that a deliberate lapsus calami?
It was very apposite, in any geval.

The back of the hill said...

I doubt whether Mr. Patel has a three pound boxMr. Patel should keep his groping hands off of all boxes. This is beyond any dispute.

The back of the hill said...

Ew-yuck, only white people eat those things! Not true! Many primitive tribals, including Texans and Floridans, eat them! And I've heard that they taste just like chicken.....
Although possum is impossibly greasy. So probably perfect for mister Patel - who must be considered a dishonourary white person.

The back of the hill said...

Don't bunny wabbits lay eggs around Easter or something? The Lion shall lay down with the Lamb, the Rabbit shall brutalize a Baby Chicken. I believe that this is precisely what Easter is all about. Strange fetishes enacted by anthromorphized animals.

The back of the hill said...

... piyaaj ... sarson ka beej ... tejpatta ... lal mirch ... sirka ... oleaginous ... Dhol-arnab ... adrak ... a zesty tarka ... a sharp kachumberRespectively, onions, mustard seed, cassia leaf, red pepper, vinegar, approximately and precisely like unto a Patel, ginger, a tasty fried garnish composed of onions and spices, a sharp salad-relish with onions and herbs.


The back of the hill said...

Dhol-arnabNo idea what this is. Lentil bunny?
Dhol = dal?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

mister Patel - who must be considered a dishonourary white person.That's the nicest thing you have ever said. I am touched, sniff, indeed.

---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Wait, that doesn't mean what I was thinking that it does. What is it?

---Gront Potel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Dhol-arnabNo idea what this is. Lentil bunny?
Dhol = dal?
As in the proberv "dur ke dhal suhamne" - distant lentisl sound sweet. It is the gibbering wisdom of my people.

---Grent Petel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

We have many properps about lentils and bunnies. Sab Delhi men bunnychoot hai, for instance. It illustrates the culinary skills of people from the great capitol.

---Grint Pitel

Gautama said...

Dhol is dhal. Dol is drum. Mister Patel (whatever you spell it), you are insane. And probably not even a Patel.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Shut up you silly Buddhist! Why don't you go pacifist yourself! Oh yes!

---Grynt Pytel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

You would know from precisely what, I ask you!

---Grount Poutel

Patels United Against Grant said...

Grant is precisely and exactly not representative of others with his surname exactly!
He must be exposed - to the angry public, and the savage elements!

Patels United Against Grant said...

We insist upon a thrashing! His reign or terror must be stopped! We are appalled and outraged by his temeritous behaviors!
At once!

succinctly amphibious said...


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Does Patel cook rabbit vindaloo?

2 lbs Rabbit (or hare), cubed
2 Onions
16 Garlic cloves, crushed
2 lbs Tomatoes, crushed
1 cup Wine vinegar
Ginger, 2 inches,finely chopped
6 Bay leaves
2 tbs Coriander seed
1 tbs peppercorns
1 tbs Turmeric
2 tsp Cumin seed
2 tsp Mustard seed, ground
1 tsp Cayenne
1/2 tsp Black pepper, ground
1/2 tsp Cardamon seed
1/2 tsp Cinnamon

Butter for cooking

Lightly roast the cumin seed and coriander seed for a minute or so, stirring constantly. Add the peppercorns for a few seconds. Grind and combine them into a paste with the other spices, the garlic, ginger and the vinegar. Add the rabbit (or hare) to the marinade and mix well. Refrigerate for several hours, while mixing every few hours as convenient.

Finely chop the onions and saute them for 5 minutes in the butter.

Add rabbit (or hare) and spice paste and simmer over low heat for half an hour. The marinade adds a lot of flavor and makes the meat much more tender.

Chunked cooked potato may be added. Serve with lots of fluffy rice.

Anonymous said...

Hare today- gone tomorrow.

Lets switch to a more appealing topic- raccoon recipes- I vaguely recall this one

1 lb Sweet potatoes; cooked and mashed
1/2 c Raisins
1 c Bread crumbs
2 Apples; peeled and chopped
1/4 c Butter; melted (or margarine, if you're adverse to mixing milk and meat- on the other hand, if you are adverse to eating milk and meat, you probably won't be eating raccoon)
Salt and pepper to taste
4 lb To 5 lb raccoon (fresh is best- if using dead on road raccoon, remove gravel and ground in dirt carefully)

First make the stuffing; mix together all ingredients until blended. Wash raccoon meat thoroughly and dry with a cloth.(You know enough to take the fur off first, don't you? Don't you?) Salt the inside. Stuff gently with the sweet potato mixture and sew opening shut with a running stitch. If company is coming, use embroidery ribbon and close with a french knot. Bake at 325°. for about 3 hours. When half done, turn over so all sides will brown.

Save a bunny, eat a raccoon.
Sponsored by NAMBLA - National Man/Bunny Love Association

Anonymous said...

Save a bunny, eat a raccoon.Obviously part of an evil plot to keep possums, rabbits, and tofurks out of the kitchen.

Raccoons, everywhere, are oppressed. And will rise up one day and wreak horrible vengeance!

Allons raccoons de la patriiiiya, le jour de gloire est arrivay.....

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Viva les raccoons!

They amke a damn fine vindaloo.

---Green Pudendams

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Rabbit vindaloo is something only a public schoolboy would eat. We have none of these. And we are keen on saving the Tofurkers from extinction?

Remember what happened to the naugas? All gone now. The Dutch wiped out the entire population cause they were hungry. Stupid sailors.

---Green Toesnorficle

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Oh wait. That was the Dodo. The Dutch ate the Dodo.

I-m probably thinking of the French.

---Green Bellybuttonballs