Sunday, April 26, 2009

Ribbons too tight around their heads

A friend and fellow blogger tells me that the internet is made for FOUR things: pornography, food articles, kitten pictures, and conspiracy theories.

Well, I do not know about the first thing - there are some search criteria I do not dare enter. And I've already discovered that Panties, Bras, Waist, Prawn, Ribbons, and Wips all lead to pictures that would make my screen explode.

Food articles, of course, are edible porn. Often with most appetizing pictures. Food photography is an art. Makes you want to lick your monitor.

Kitten pictures do not excite me. There must be something wrong. Maybe if they photographed the kittens wearing panties while rolling a plate of prawns.

And as for conspiracy theories, I don't have any. I think conspiracy theorists are all nuts. That's not a theory, that is a provable fact. Perhaps the conspiracy theorists should collect panties and prawns instead. It might make them happier. Without lessening their internet presence.


The back of the hill said...

Why on earth were you looking up 'wips' on the internet?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Obviously because she needed to acquire one. One can only spucelate what she was wanting one for. Do I smell fishnets and spikes? Indeed I can - the aroma is virtually strong and flamboyant.

---Grant Patel

Spiros said...

I will thank Patel Sahib to keep his "spucelations" to himself. Is there a Test Match he could be watching?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Windy at Lords. Very exciting. My hands are all aquiver. I flutter. Oh yes.

---Prance Gintle

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Spiros, mind your own bidnizz.

Snooky, tell us about the wips. We need to know. Describe in details what you intend to do with them.

Fishnetty business? High and zesty spike heels for grinding into the soft flesh of the lower backs? Tigh tight corsetry?

Do I need to purchase cool and skin-soothing yoghurt?

----Grebvert Pentangle

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Or do you intend to spank the amphibian?

---Gross Poogles

Patels United Against Grant said...

Grant should be whipped within an inch! No mercy! He is in his words and his deeds demonstrably a heathen!

Patels United Against Grant said...

Hunt him down, and once found, punish him severely! Spank him! Spank him fiercely! Beat him with a lathi until he Whimpers!

Mother of all kittens said...

Kitten pictures do not excite meThat's not normal. Was it a childhood trauma?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Patels United Against Grant? What horrid heathendom! Go back to Ahmedabad, you poonces!

---Grant Unitedforgrant