Wednesday, May 6, 2009

My exciting sex life, part deux!

I have a confession - I'm really interested in the results of the teenage sex survey mentioned in the previous post (from the link that Atboth sent me).

Some of the questions are hella fascinating. Take this one, for example: "Does your religion influence your decision about whether or not to have sex?"

There are actual religions that tell you to have sex? I thought that was just Catholicism!


Some of the questions are easy to answer, though if this was a test, even a multiple choice one, I would probably fail.
See, that's why Chinese American kids don't do sex surveys, it's performance anxiety! We're afraid we won't get into Berkeley or Stanford if we give the wrong answers!

But, just to keep you interested, here are some of the questions (italics) and my honest answers (bold).

What is your sexual orientation? Magnetic north.
Have you ever had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend? No, nothing but clowns.
What do you consider to mean "hooking up"? Full cable service, including internet.
What is your experience with sending suggestive or nude photos or videos via your cell phone (also known as "sexting")? That's why I don't have a cell-phone.
Where do you get the majority of your sex information from? Mail-order catalogues, where else?

Now, the answer to what I'm sure you all want to know, I am lying on my bed wearing pink bikini briefs with white lace edging. Raspberry pink! Cotton!

I also have my favorite tee-shirt (MÔTÔRHEAD) from two years ago on - it is far too tight now.

And I'm a blond sex-type thing.


Of course I answer ALL questions honestly - why do you ask?


GRANT!PATEL! said...

Girl, you excite me no end.

---Grant Patel

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I shall now fanatacise about you secloistered in your boudoir, wearing little else than raspberry panties.

---Grant Raspberripinks

GRANT!PATEL! said...

With just the whispest bit of white lace edging.

---Grant Motorhead

The back of the hill said...

Grant, have you ever considered thinking before you type?

Give it a shot - you'll be surprised at how your social life improves.

The back of the hill said...

By the way, Snooky, I sent you another e-mail. Do it. You'll be glad you did.

And it will improve your life. Trust me.

The back of the hill said...

No, Grant, I am not giving you her contact information. You are depraved.

Likeable. But utterly depraved.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Oh my good heavens, are you now communicating regularly with the backhill man? He WILL STEAL YOUR PANTIES! He is a wombat!

---Grant Penguinsrule

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And leave your lace in disarray! I am just warning you. For my own good.

I am serious about doing pizza.

---Grant Wellsauced

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And I always think before I type. That is how I am writing so well. Can you not tell? How is it that you perspicate and ponder the young miss Wong's teenage scribbles without fully comprehending the zen-like wisdoms of my fine writing?!?

---Gruber Yongbux

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Indeed, one would have to think that there is something the both of you are hiding from my own fine innocent self.

---Grant Priestlyvestmentstootight