Monday, May 18, 2009

Take that hamburger and....

Normally I refuse to touch hamburgers. Why? Because you don't know what part of some poor diseased downtrodden moo-cow the meat came from. It's ground up, so it could be anything! Even arse!

But sometimes......

Sometimes you NEED to bite a cow! And at that time you hope that the ground whatever-it-is that they use didn't come from the carcass of some glandered heifer shot at the end of a long miserable life. Nice, juicy, fatty young meat, though not too young. Not quite the perfect aged hunks of beef in the windows of Harris' Restaurant at the corner of Pacific and Van Ness, which are truly beautiful - more appealing and luscious than the finest flemish food-slut fanatic paintings of centuries ago - but something which at least had some good marbling, and came from a well-developed muscle area. It has to drip juices when you chomp down.

Add some sautéed mushrooms, onions, tomato, and a dab of mustard, and it is an orgy!
Yes, you may bribe me with a greasy patty!

That was NOT what I had today. I've been had! I spent good money on that nasty thing. Damm them, they sold me a nasty piece of crap!
Ick. Feh. Poo!

And the bacon was hard and dry and old! Cheats! Horrid cheats!


Withnail said...

We want the finest wines, we want them here, and we want them now!

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Wine and burgers, now you're tlaking. Talking what, however, is neither here nor there precisely.

---Grant Toastedbuns

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Enough with the hamburger issue, I am proving very well only meatness!

I have answered your interrogatory, little miss Wong, in all particulars.

So there I say.


All details of the inadequacy of Richard Becker are revealed. In as much as you need to know. Richard Becker is indeed, as I say, a most unmanly man!

---Grant Flungpoo

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I mean so:
Richard Becker's little lauraAs is written above.

---Gront Pontificant

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And by which remember that a laura or lor is a term for the male pude extrude.
So also: Richard Becker's tiny crotch-blotchMore infinite and nasty it cannot psossibly be. It is so small.

---Grant Fingerstightlypinched

The back of the hill said...

Shut up Grant.


RE: Beef: Haven't eaten it more than five times in the last five years. Don't trust the American beef industry. They lied several times about mad-cow, and when caught, lied some more. Then they sued Oprah, and since then everyone has been too scared to even bring up the subject.


Grant, your love affair with Richard Becker's penis leaves me cold. Go away. Hush up. Take a valium.

RB said...

Contact: Tom Luce, 510-684-6163

Rabid Bunny says 'go get 'em!"