Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Credit cards

I need a credit card. Seriously. There are so many options for buying exactly whatt I want (what I NEEEED) on the internet, and so few here in the city. I mean, have YOU ever tried to buy panties in your size locally???!!?

You'd think that with the large number of reasonably sized Asians, local stores would realize the potential and start catering to us. Instead of stocking up on big bucket-sized butt-bags for gigomphous white women. A selection in four extra small, five small, maybe tight sixes - but noooooooooo!!!!

If they were made out of black cloth, you'd think of a garbage bag. Expando size. Just stuff your old dead leaves in here. Heck, stuff the entire tree in, no one can tell the difference!!!!

Hello, Macys, I'm talking to you! Stop attracting the big lard monsters with blonde hair, stop adverting for the six foot tall freaks from giant whitey land, stop busting for the kadoinkadoik crowd from O-town! Just stop!

Not that it makes any difference, cause I'm short of money anyhow.


Spiros said...

Patel Sahib? Care to comment?

Anonymous said...

I'm melting, I'm melting!

For a whole variety of reasons.

---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

A selection in four extra small, five small, maybe tight sixes

oooooh, my heavens!

Did I already say that I'm melting?

Okay, melted entire. No questions.

---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Thank you, that was very good. I also appreciated the big lard monsters.
And the kadoingidoinks.
Oh yes.

---Grant Patel

The back of the hill said...

Grant, that was staggeringly disturbing. Sit down, and hush.

Bad monkey. No banana.

Anonymous said...

If I give you my credit card number, will you PROMISE to use it for a zesty selection in four extra small, five small, and maybe even tight sixes?

I will not hold it against you. But I would dearly appreciate holding them all against you.

Come one then, lets have that phone number.

---Grant Pantifogger

Anonymous said...

Can the rest of us have your credit card number too? We promise we'll only use it for the same things that Snooky would.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Spiros, you may purchase whatever I wish Snooky to buy. Just give it to Osaka-san.

No need to even mention that it is from me. I do not wish it to confound my relationship with the delecktable miss Wong. Or complicate matters. This thing we have going is most precious. As I'm sure all experts will agree. As well as four out of five dentists.

---Grant Patel


There is no relationship, you deviant.

Anonymous said...

Are you absolutely positive?

---Grasburn Prongue