Thursday, February 19, 2009

Role model

Live life out loud. There is NOTHING mysterious about Orientals, nothing hidden.
Whatever that thing about 'inscrutable' was, it does not, and did not, apply.

Operatic is the word. Out loud. Top of the lungs. All fuses blown.

As this Cantonese Momma illustrates:

"Aiyaaaah!!!! Sei-ah!! Ngo yiu jau, ah, keui mei jauah, tiemkai!!!?????? Aiiiiii-yyyy-aaaaaaaaah!!! Kauwaaaaaaah!!! Tiemyeung kam shi? Owaah kam-yeung gah, Aiyyaaaaaaaaah!"

Three minutes of shrieking at the top of her lungs, rolling on the floor, and flailing. This woman has a queensized talent for tantrum. Betcha her companion was probably thinking the while "I told you to be ready by twelve, but where you ready? Were you? Nooooooooo!!!! I told you! Heck, you didn't even leave the house till nearly one o'clock, then we had to stop so you could drop sumping off! And that took you far too long too. I told you we were running late, I told you, bitch, you NEVER listen to a word I say!!!"

But wisely, he didn't say any of it. Not a peep out of him. He left the lectern to his wife. Who took it, ran with it, and beat it into fraggy shards. Then shook it viciously till there was nothing left but bloody sawdust. She rules! Center of attention, everyone stepping away from her in fear!

When I grow up, I wanna be just like her!!!!!!



Anonymous said...

A relative of yours? Looks like an exciting person to know.

---Grant Patel

Anonymous said...

Your mother? You look just like her, girlie. But probably cuter and smaller.

---Gruscious Prutt

Tzipporah said...

Holy fricking hell, that was funny.

I've never thought of pitching my fit in a foreign language - it would certainly be more dramatic.

Perhaps I shall try that the next time the daycare tells me they don't have an open spot on mondays...

The back of the hill said...

Wow! That's some performance. She should be on America's Next.

And now that woman is walking around San Francisco?

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

She's walking around SF???!!? Wow, I gotta meet that mamma! Where does she hang?

---Griebus Poon

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Exciting! And rollywolliwolli. I saw how she squealed and yelped. Quite the lively one.

I wonder what size her nethers.

---Grusskop Toodlebags