Thursday, February 26, 2009

Patel plague!

The infamous and depraved Grant patel posts another masterpiece of degenerate hyperbole!

This time, it appears that my knickers are not the butt of his berserkety, as can be seen here:

It's about Arab women and their undies. His twisted interests know no bounds, he wishes to "eye-ball" them.

It is probably the most Grantpatelish thing he has done to-date.

He writes "I am expert at while undressing you in my mental eye still leaving the last several or two skintight silken object on the hypothesized naked surfaces of your forms to protect your several maidenly modesties. I do this all the time. On the street, in the office, at the mall, while sipping my tea in various gandu coffee-shops. I am doing it now while talking to you."


Well, that's just gross. He's an amazingly nasty piece of work. I've read about his type, but never thought that there would be one so close by. At least, I never though about such people being close by. I'm feeling nauseated at this point. He probably has beer breath, and a hairy torso. That's just sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just in case, I'm staying out of all coffee shops. If there are any more like him, no wonder we're in trouble. Do not marry a lawyer.


Anonymous said...

I googled you and found your facebook page. Argh! Say it ain't so, Snooky- say it ain't so. Are you really a 300 pound Sumo wresler?

credulously amphibious said...

Also on Facebook, a "SNOOKY WONG FANCLUB"...wait! You're PREGNANT?

Grunt!Patel! said...

Grantpatelish, indeed: a very useful neologism.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Infamopus?!!?!? How depraved! You slander me, petite mincks, you wound me grievously! I must protest, strenuously, almightily, and vociferously, in all manner and all ways!

You, madam, are a bitch!

---Grand Poof

GRANT!PATEL! said...

A three-hundred pound pregnat sumo wrestler? I am almightily intrigued, nay fascinated by this development. And fans thereof? How... delicious.

A yes, the tiny teenager within. Like the child within. Roasted and eaten by a sumo hog.

Ha haha hhahahahhah!

---Gruesont Purbiattah

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Yo, interloper! I am only vicariously dirty! Merely by proximation to the three hundred pound preggy gorilla who wears the tight tight panties.

She is the true vicurty one, not me. She! She alone, she only!

I am as clean as the driven snow.

---Grant Pont

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Except I drifted.

---Grune Panders

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Bent just ever so sideways, in precisely and exactly other ways.

---Grudimop Plootes

The back of the hill said...

I've heard it said that Grant Patel is a very crude man.

The back of the hill said...

You, madam, are a bitch!

What a most ungentlemanly thing to say! How ungallant!

Control your baser instincts, you evil parsee!

The back of the hill said...

And you should give serious thought to apologizing.


Grant, you compleat and horrible pimple, I am NOT three hundred pounds, and I am NOT pregnant.

If I ever meet you in person, I will kick you in the groin so bad that you won't even be able to stumble home!


And in fact I'm sixty eight and a quarter pounds. Which is light for my height. I bet you are a horrid grossly fat greasball, mister Patel. Maybe that's why you DREAM of chasing teenagers - you've NEVER even been married, huh?

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And in fact I'm sixty eight and a quarter pounds.

We require proof. A certified doctor's report showing weight and measurements. Or a photo in which to prove it really you you hold a sign with my name - a cellphone shot of yourself on a scale also can.

Better yet, you evel mincks, kindly extend to me your cellphone nombre, and I shall msyelf investigate.

Untill then, you are a hippopotatomus. With no question. Stomp stomp.

---Greebus Pettisnatch

GRANT!PATEL! said...

And if anyone here hath pimples, mylady, surely it is your own adolescent self.

Have they ever exploded at an inconvenient moment?

---Grossferstin Poonigams

GRANT!PATEL! said...

But I apologize reservedly for calling you a bitch. Not necessarily due to it being not proveable and thus a slander, and assuming that you are not covered in wiry hair with a line of six teats running down your narrow front, but because it precludes a further knowldege of the petite though nasty tempered teenager in questioning. Oh yes, I utmost keenly desire to further the questioning. You fascinate me, as a morsel of spikey heats and sweets.

---Groaning Prawn

Anonymous said...

Anyone feel the need to call child protective services here?

Or at least the nice young men in their clean white coats?

Ron Gross said...

Hmmph. The blogger here can probably knock the spit out of some elderly pervert. She sounds pugnant enough.

The back of the hill said...

The blogger here can probably knock the spit out of some elderly pervert.

Many of us would pay money to see that.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

I have a new post. Most obliged if comments.

GRUNT!PATEL! said...

Grant Patel shall not have comment passed upon him.

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Grunt, you are an imposter. Fiegh!

---Greeveward Barpool


Hmp! I am NOT surprised that a post about mister Patel seems to have mostly comments from mister Patel...., AND HIS RELATIVES!

It's like waving a cadaver at the vultures: instant popularity!

GRANT!PATEL! said...

Whatever you gaily wave, miss Wong, will get my attention. I am your abject vulture.

But I would prefer that you offer a less odoriferous banner.

---Graham Luetefiske

Anonymous said...

At the very least, don't marry a lawyer named Grant Patel. Or his cousin.

I suspect that Grant doesn't consume beer at all though. My guess is that he's a scotch or whiskey man, but probably scotch.