Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Hot buttered weirdos

Some people who read my blog are very strange. A few call themselves amphibians, several are anonymous creeps, and some say the goofiest things.
These are the adults we are supposed to emulate.

If I met any of these people on the bus, I would hope that they wouldn't even notice me (well, they wouldn't anyhow). I think they're drunk most of the time. Or potty. Their comments only sometimes make sense. And I think they only come here so that they can say stuff.
Which is okay.

I'm glad that you are reading this. But there are some rules I really think you should follow.

Number one: I am not a cat. Number two: I do NOT want to rub myself all over with butter, and far less let anyone else do it. Number three: redundancy is not witty. Number four: redundancy is not witty. Number five: exclamation points are a way of life - live with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Number six: Monty Python is cool. Monty Python fans, maybe not. The jury is still out. Number seven: with or without bagels, dating is seriously out of the question. I don't have time for that. There's just too much homework, and people could see us, and it would be too embarrassing, and boys have sweaty sticky hands. And ick. Seriously. Ick. Number eight: I now know about ghee, but I'm never going to use it. Go read number two.
Number nine: Please keep all your greasy hands to yourself. I'm very very happy you're here, but no touching! Please see number two again. Ick.


skeptically amphibious said...

Who said anything about being adult?

Anonymous said...

Please keep all your greasy hands to yourself.

And let us instead talk of YOUR greasy hands. I am quite fascinated, really I am.

---Pattidev Garhawal

Anonymous said...

And, while I may be a creep OR a weirdo (you get one only, not both), I will NOT claim to be an adult.

---Pattidev Garhawal

The back of the hill said...

Well, they are all nominally adults. But I will lay claim to being the only adult in actual fact.

Neither the amphibious person, not the strangely named Indian person, are real adults - more figmentish than real in any case.

Worf said...

Klingon mating rituals involve domination and combative attitudes. Par'machpu' (singular par'mach) are chosen mates for dedicated recreational sexual congress, equivalent to fiancĂ©es among Terran humans. Lieutenant Worf, when questioned in this area of Klingon lore, said (perhaps obliquely) that females roar loudly, hurl heavy objects, and claw at their desired mate – the males, conversely, read love poetry aloud and duck a lot.[

Worf said...

Klingon females reportedly search for their own partners, whom they deem worthy of copulation. Normally this has to be a male of great strength, valour or who at least possesses great courage. The mating process can be a very wild and sometimes violent affair.

Anonymous said...

Girl, you been discovered!!!!


---Grant Perturbed

Anonymous said...

Now, disturb the amphibian.

---Grant Puffifingered

Anonymous said...

And who is this Pattidev Garhawal?

Sweetie, watch out for people with such abnormal names. Everybody knows that shelwanis are all perverts. I suspect him of several perversions besides.

---Grant Personably Indeed

Anonymous said...

Deviance. Dysfunctionality. Idol worship. And utter bladerdash.

Black magic. Eric Idol. Palmistry. Heresy. And whips.

---Grant the Protestant Puritan


Grant whatever your name is, take your medicine!

Anonymous said...

Yes mommy. I hasten to obey. I quake and quiver in abject obedience.

Now, please grind that spikey heel into the soft flesh. Oooooh....!

---Grant Persiflageous

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me. I do not know who that was. I would NEVER say such things. That commenter was an imposter. Sorry.

---Grant Pseudonymous

Anonymous said...

It was probably the degenerate newt-boy. He's like that, you know. He LIKES little Japanese High-school girls. Like Osaka-san. Of which you are not one, and who you are not like.

You are too spicy for him.

I guess.

---Grant Poondarbong

Anonymous said...

That wasn't me again. I've already taken all my medicine.

---Grant Penderghost.

The back of the hill said...

I've already taken all my medicine

How about giving it time to take effect before venturing into the blogs?

The back of the hill said...

Remarkably, this post got this blog mentioned under a recipe for hot buttered noodles as by Google Search: 'More about hot buttered noodles from Google Blogsearch: "DEATH BY NOODLES: Underwear and bleary eyes One day you will choke on noodles and your entire life will flash before your eyes. How marvelous to have such wonderful memories while EATING NOODLES!!!!
" '

See here:

The back of the hill said...

There's one recipe in the list of found posts that actually looks rather interesting:

Ham and Buttered Noodles
This recipe feeds 2-3 people. Given that you’re already using leftover ham, I wouldn’t recommend making any more than this at one time. It’s so simple; just prepare it as you need it.
4 ounces egg noodles
5 ounces leftover ham; cut into bite size pieces
1-2 tablespoons butter
Small can of corn (optional)

Boil the egg noodles as per the instructions. While the noodles are boiling, cut your ham, trimming away any excess fat. Nuke in the microwave for 30-45 seconds till hot or fry it up in a pan with a little bit of butter. Put in a medium sized bowl. If including corn, strain and microwave for 1 minute.

Once the noodles are ready, strain and add to the bowl of ham. Add one tablespoon of butter, mix until melted and taste. If you want it more Paula Deen style, add a second tablespoon and mix again until melted. And your corn, mix and serve immediately.

It's from this post:

[This blog: http://www.dinnercakes.com/ ]

Seems to be mostly white people's food. But good and thoughtfully prepared.

No skimping on butter, cream, or quality ingredients. Bon appetit!